The Picadors
by Hayseed Socrates
Summary: Set directly after "Days of Wine and Roses" 5 X 11. "I need your help." Lisbon and Jane hatch a plan to get to Tommy Volker. A short, single scene of how they might begin their quest, with a hint of Jane/Lisbon. This just popped into my head and wouldn't let me go. Constructive criticism is welcomed - I'm curious to see if folks find this in character for Jane.


I do not own The Mentalist, darn it. No copyright infringement is intended.

..

They had a plan. Now to see if they could pull it off...

Lisbon wore her most businesslike suit. _Volker might still look at her like a piece of meat, but she damn sure wasn't going to give him a view_, she decided. This time, Jane accompanied her. Together they walked into Volker's building, rode the elevator up to the top floor, and entered his well-appointed reception area.

A gorgeous brunette secretary soon ushered them into Volker's office. The room was decorated in contemporary style, with clean, angular lines, and expensively furnished. _Much too cold for her taste, but it certainly fit him._ The outside wall was floor to ceiling glass overlooking the city, and the wall though which they'd just entered contained a large recessed aquarium. She could hear the gentle whir of the aerator behind her.

Volker didn't immediately turn to look at them, but rather stood with his feet on a line of the custom parquet floor, throwing darts at an electronic dart board that hung on one wall. "Come in!" he invited them as he let his last dart fly, hitting close but not directly in the center. A droidlike voice said "Ring A -35 points" and lights flashed on the target in celebration.

Only then did he turn to face them. "Care for a seat?" he motioned to the plush chairs. "I was just trying out a present from a friend."

"No thank you. We won't be long," Lisbon said, trying to keep any expression at all off of her face. "This is Patrick Jane, a consultant with the CBI."

Volker looked Jane over from head to toe. "My pleasure," he nodded. "You're that psychic fellow who got his family carved up by a serial killer a few years back, aren't you?" he said smoothly. "What a shame."

_Wow. Going right for the jugular_, Lisbon noted.

Jane didn't flinch. "Yes, I am, " he replied. "Not a psychic, though," he added and wandered right past Volker to begin his inspection of the room, while Lisbon conversed.

"We're here to request your financial records from the VOLCAM division of your company. You said you ran a transparent organization, so we're asking nicely. If necessary, we can get a warrant."

She didn't see any reaction on his face at the mention of the name, not that she was actually expecting any. Volker's reply was unflustered and even. "Why certainly, Teresa. I'll get Heather to send them to you. I have nothing to hide, though I don't think you could get a warrant or you wouldn't be here." With that he stared blatantly at her breasts for a few seconds. It was unnerving, but she held her ground. Then he made a "tsk, tsk" sound with his tongue. "Such severe clothing, Teresa. A shame, really."

"Though I can understand," he continued after a pause. "Being a police woman is such a…dangerous…business." His emphasis of the word 'dangerous' was obviously a thinly veiled threat. "Especially for a woman," he added with a cold smirk.

"That really isn't your concern, Mr. Volker," she stated. "Our inquiry is." Jane was nearly all the way around the room, but still snooping.

"Is that why you brought a male colleague with you this time?" Volker stepped closer to her, invading her space and lowering his voice. "Because you and I could never _really_ talk, well, man to man." He smiled the sleazy half smile of a man eyeing a whore he'd just bought. "Now could we?" _Hurry up Jane!_ He was making her skin crawl and she prayed her poker face was holding.

Jane finished his stroll around the room. He retrieved a dart from Volker's target and approached the two of them.

"Boss, did you get what you came for?" he asked. He gave no indication, but she knew he had been listening to their conversation.

"Yes, I believe I have," she said coolly.

"I'd watch out for Teresa, Mr. Jane," Volker cautioned. "She has an unfortunate tendency to get in over her head."

"Oh, I'm quite sure Agent Lisbon can take care of herself." Jane smiled sweetly. He began staring at Volker intently, searching the man's face with his eyes, contemplating. "You're one who likes to watch, aren't you?" He continued to peer at Volker, and then raised a finger as he reached a conclusion. "Because that's **all **youcan do, isn't it? Ah! Poor fellow. Blood pressure meds? Stress?"

Volker's eyes hardened visibly. Jane had miraculously hit pay dirt again, she was sure of that. "I'll have Heather send the documents," Volker said tersely, and started to turn toward his desk. Jane, however, wasn't through. He lightly grasped Volker's arm, which earned him a withering look. Which Jane, of course, ignored.

"Oh, and Tommy? Man to man? If something should ever happen to Agent Lisbon here, well, that would make me a man with nothing left to lose."

She barely managed not to react to his words.

Then Jane's eyes narrowed ever so slightly. "And people with nothing to lose are _very, very_ dangerous. If anything – _anything_ like that were to happen? Not being able to get it up might seem like," he shrugged in dismissal, "such a tiny little problem. Relatively speaking. Man to man." Jane gave him a patronizing, sympathetic smile, but his eyes were clear and steely.

Lisbon felt a shiver run down her spine. _Holy shit, Jane!_ He was getting carried away, and it was time to get him out of here. She was relieved when he abruptly turned to her. "Are you ready, Agent Lisbon?"

"Yes, I'm done here."

"Me, too." He released Volker's arm and turned to face the wall where the dart board hung. He flipped the dart straight toward the target, hitting the bullseye. As the computer voice droned its congratulations and lights flashed, Jane gestured slightly toward Volker's crotch and said, "Don't worry, I won't tell a soul." Jane touched his index finger to his thumb and ran them over his closed lips, zipping them with an imaginary zipper for emphasis.

With that, Lisbon took his arm and exited the room promptly. They stopped only long enough to give Heather the address and then proceeded briskly down and out to her car without speaking. As soon as they were inside the vehicle and the doors were closed, Jane exclaimed, "Son of a _bitch_, he's a nasty piece of work! He's a intelligent, manipulative psychopath and I'd bet the Citroen he watches his henchman kill to get his jollies."

She didn't think she'd ever seen him quite this indignant. "Easy there, cowboy. More importantly, do you think he'll take the bait?" she asked.

"Definitely, but we have to work fast. If Van Pelt can do her magic on what we really want to know, which is those shipping records, we might find what we need before he figures this out. And he will," Jane supposed. "Pretty quickly, too." Then he smiled broadly. "I do believe, however, we managed to distract him both on a business and a personal level."

Lisbon flipped out her phone and hit a speed dial number. "Grace? Get going. We're out," she said, and snapped the phone shut.

"Yeah, we got to him," she agreed with Jane. "We _have_ to get this bastard." She popped the heels of her hands on the steering wheel.

"Yes, we do."

She started to turn the key in the ignition, but then hesitated. She cocked her head sideways to look at Jane in the passenger's seat. "You sure poked a tiger in there. Is it true?"

"Absolutely," he said at first. "Well, 95% sure," he hedged.

"You think maybe you laid it on a little thick there at the end?"

"Meh, you're right. I'll probably tell everybody," he admitted with an amused grin. "That's too juicy of a secret to keep."

"No, no, I mean the part before that."

"Ah yes, that." Now he looked her straight in the eye and replied with open conviction, "Oh, I wasn't lying about that part. If he touches you, I'll chop him into such tiny pieces his goldfish won't bother eating him."

She raised her eyebrows in surprise, and then she smiled. She could take care of herself, but she wasn't going to deny she enjoyed Jane getting so worked up over Volker's treatment of her.

"I'm serious," he insisted without a hint of a smile.

"Good. You do that," she said cavalierly.

He reached over and placed his hand on her forearm. "You do need to be careful, Teresa," he said sincerely, his eyes dark with concern. "He's a very bad man."

"I know. So let's go get him." She turned the key, the car roared to life, and she pulled out onto the road toward CBI headquarters.

A few seconds later, she quietly added, "Thanks."


End file.
